I’m a mom.
I’m an entrepreneur.
I’m a business owner.
And sometimes it downright sucks.
My little prince is almost 8 months old so I’m still within the first year of his life where other employed moms are relishing in maternity leaves that give them 12 months off work – with pay!
On many an occasion I find myself thinking…
“It would it be so nice to leave the laptop in sleep mode today…to play with my son without thinking about everything I still need to do before nighttime…to forget all about my clients, my deadlines and my responsibilities…to get paid for doing NO WORK…and to feel good about it because I DESERVE IT.”
1 – There’s NO break.
I’ve said it before, being a mom is a full time job. That means there’s really no opportunity to do any other kind of actual work unless you really get creative. Which I do. If you’re a working mom, then you’ve really gotta do everything you can to stay committed. Motivated. Driven. Dedicated to your work.
And that means sacrifices in other areas.
More so than losing a bit of personal time or quality time with your partner and friends, those sacrifices sometimes involve distractedness when you’re with your kid. Read point 3 below.
2 – I feel like I’m getting cheated.
Sometimes I want to scream at the top of my lungs in shameful envy of all the lucky ass moms out there with mat leaves. While I’ve been building my businesses and working happily for myself for the past 6 years, they’ve been “working for the man” in positions that I’ve always thought I wanted nothing to do with!
As I evaluate the full package of what they bring, those tedious, unchallenging and unsatisfying desk jobs are looking pretty damn nice.
3 – I can’t give my son my undivided attention.
This is a big one. Our little ones are only at home with us for such a short time and yet as moms – and working moms – we have so much to do on any given day to keep life rolling. On top of baby duties like diaper changes, nursing and play time, we’ve also got household stuff like laundry, groceries and meal prep. What about all the miscellaneous tasks that usually fall in our laps (because we’re women, we care and we’re hardwired for these things) like buying gifts for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day coming up, making sure the house is stocked with essentials like toilet paper and paper towel, answering texts and emails so you don’t totally lose touch with people, or making plans with friends you haven’t seen in forever…
And then you want to add WORK on top of it all?!
Needless to say, this means that no matter how hard you try, there are going to be moments throughout the day when your little one is content with a toy and you’re scrambling to whip up a salad, make a quick phone call or throw a load of laundry on. Even though I know it’s actually a good thing to let your baby have a little independent play time, I can’t help but feel guilty that I’m not always giving my little guy my undivided attention. And that pisses me off.
4 – Life feels like one big rush.
As a working mom, the second I’ve got a spare minute because the little prince is napping or because my husband’s spending time with him or because one of the doting grandparents is over for a visit, I rush to squeeze in every possible task I can complete. Life feels like one big blur. Granted, the time stress is something I definitely put on myself. No one else is rushing me. I am. But I can’t help it. I feel like I’m always chasing that feeling of total relaxation…I fool myself into thinking that if I just complete this one thing, then I’ll be able to fully relax. But guess what happens when I’m done that one thing? Another thing pops up.
C’est la vie.
5 – I just want to play with my son. All day. Every day.
Maybe it’s the new mommy coming out in me. Maybe it’s the realization that time is going by waaaaay too fast. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m becoming more and more attached to my son as each day passes.
I used to be the hardest worker. 10, 12, 15 hour days. Whatever. I loved it.
Even though I LOVE what I do, I often find myself wishing I could just drop it all to be with my son. Ever since he came along it’s become clear to me that when I really take a hard, long look at life, he’s all that matters. Real happiness, real value comes from spending time with the people you love.
When we’re six feet under, we’re not going to look back at life with fond, loving feelings for our money. We’re going to be proud of the kind of kids we raised. At the relationships we built. At the awesome experiences we had.
As I spend time with my son, who by the way becomes more and more fun every single day, that goofy, comical and lighthearted side of me comes out. I laugh till my jaw hurts and I do things that make my son smile from ear to ear. What we do together is so small, so silly and so seemingly insignificant. But it’s anything but. These are the times that I’ll always cherish. These are the times when I feel my absolute best. These are the times I’ll never, ever forget.
So, can you blame me that there are some days when I just don’t want to work at all?
Sorry for being a Bitter Betty today. Stay in Bittersville with me for now (I need the company) but stay tuned for the flipside. Yeah, there are positives too. Gotta see the silver lining, right?
A Few Tips to Get You By…
Before I give you a big boost and post all the reasons why being a working mom is awesome, here are a few tips that have helped me squeeze my way out of Bittersville when I really need a pick-me-up:
- The challenge of perfectly balancing work and baby time is what makes both tasks so rewarding.
- Knowing yourself, if there was no work to do for a full year, you’d probably be miserable and bored out of your mind.
- Because you’re working and raising your baby, you’re able to feel uber productive no matter what you’re doing – all day, every day.
- You haven’t lost your career or even had to put it on hold.
- Working moms are super moms. Straight up.
But until next time, leave a venting comment about why being a working mom SUCKS!